Best idea of the night...

A friend lost her voice, she was using her phone to communicate via text, but it started to die. I offered mine up, but on one condition: no deleting the conversations. Here is the undoctored register:

I'm a light weight

I will eventually 

Just let me not be a drunk bitch for one night out of my life, ok?

I mean: when I'm not at Gabba, I'm a different person 

I can't but thank you 

I'm pretty tipsy enough 

I know 

This is my life 

I've had nothing but Whiskey all night, no way dude 

I've made my bed and now I have to sleep in it 

How was the rest of your night?

Haha, pretty good actually, after breaking down and then ditching the gear, I caught a case of pancakes with Matt Gorney and Ian +5 people

That sounds great! Tell them I said hi. I'll wait: the guys it was a joke

Don't humor me

Ok

You're the worst 

Yes, this is the future btw. 
People texting while sitting next to one anoth

I look forward to it. At least you have a choice. 

You missed a CRAZY dance party 
Who!?

Me, celina, adolpho, random bar dude 

What was style of moves brought?

Like 20% arms moving, and 80% ass. Good proportion for dancing 

This bar guy tried dancing with us but it was 100% ass and well - it just didn't work out 

Are you going to read all this tomorrow? Great, I love it 

You're gonna get all the dirt then 

What? That was to Chris cause he said he was gonna read all this tomorrow 

The operation went great, doctor said it should grow back to half the size in a couple years

That's great! Any word on that magician's license you're working on? And did she really go down in3 bullets? That seems a bit much to me..

It seems like Merlin was the ultimate wizard, I mean, he kind of makes dumbledore look like a puss

Well dumbledore was a puss, but that was just his sexual lifestyle 

If I do the math, Tom hanks has done more movies about Tom hanks than about being stranded on an island with a volleyball named Wilson, ... But it's close

Well you had me at Tom hanks, you know the guy from bachelor party?

You're a really good woo girl. Almost TOO good

I was in a sorority 

Everything makes sense now 

You're just making people dance around you?

You encourage him by being so nice 

Next time pee on his legm

You know what I've called you to Erin? America's cheerleader 

You're always so positive and encouraging of people. Don't sweat it that especially 

That's what makes it greater, the fact that you don't realize it 

What do you wanna write 

Yeah, but you're not really hanging out, you're just having people dance next to you...

You're stealing my lines. And maybe you're having people dance next to you and then occasionally flirty dance with Partida 

I mean. Whatever gets you through 

Partida is one hell of a man, people know that

He's America's cheerleader